Tuesday, May 04, 2004
Ralph Nader Urges MLB Not to Allow Ads on Uniforms
I hereby apologize to all the self-righteous columnists whose one-note rants about steroids have come in for so much mockery here. When it comes to self-important, factually challenged Grand Pronouncements to no real purpose other than to proclaim the speaker's moral superiority to his audience, no one compares to Ralph Nader. Yes, the man who could best serve his stated causes by blowing his brains out with a shotgun has turned his pen, and his ego, back to the world of baseball.
Ralph doesn't like ads on baseball uniforms. I don't like ads on baseball uniforms. But only one of us believes this is a moral issue comparable to replacing the leather on baseballs with human skin. Nader's letter to Bud Selig opens:
"The great lengths of selfishness with which you are willing to go to desecrate baseball and alienate fans of the game should no longer surprise us. Still, your placement of advertisements on the New York Yankees and Tampa Bay Devil Rays uniforms for Major League Baseball’s opener on March 30 in Tokyo ambushed fans across the country and left them shaking their heads at this obscene embarrassment."
The fans I know were more "ambushed" and "alienated" by the 5 AM (Eastern) starting time than by anything on the uniforms. This isn't even the first time MLB clubs have worn uniform advertising patches in Japan. Such patches are regularly worn during postseason All-Star team tours of Japan, and when the Mets and Cubs opened the 2000 season in Japan, they wore AM/PM logos on their batting helmets, an insurance company's logo on their sleeves. You surely remember all the fans who responded by swearing off MLB for life.
Nader warns that The Evil Uniform Patch, worn for two games played before most fans were even awake, is "suffocating Baseball’s fan base." That base responded by fleeing the choking atmosphere of their home TVs to attend games in record numbers. He thunders that "over-commercialization is sapping the fun out of being a fan of Major League Baseball," though being lectured by Ralph Nader about fun is like hearing Courtney Love tell you to "Just Say No."
Like Old Man River, Nader just keeps rolling along, oblivious to logic, consistency, or anything but his own moral superiority over those he addresses:
"Commissioner Selig, no one is trying to get in the way of your ability to make money, but you need to look beyond the immediate bottom line to make Major League Baseball sustainable. As primary caretaker, this means your job is to respect cities and fans, ensure the integrity of the game, and eliminate self-interested and destructive tendencies. Advertising on uniforms runs counter to each of these critical principles."
"No one is trying to stop you from making money, except me."
"Major League Baseball won't be sustainable unless you do as I say."
"Listen to me when I tell you what your job entails."
Yet St. Ralph neglects to explain just how a uniform patch threatens the integrity of the game or constitutes a "destructive tendency." He no longer understands, or even cares, that when addressing audiences beyond his own steadily dwindling congregation, they don't react to his ritual invocation of buzzwords like "selfish," "greedy," and "commercialization" the way Fred Phelps' followers respond to any mention of homosexuality.
And like all self-appointed prophets, St. Ralph closes by warning what will befall Those Who Do Not Listen To The True Word:
"If you allow such an explicit interference of baseball with another greedy vehicle for corporate marketing -- using player uniforms as product placement surfaces -- apathy is not what you should expect from fans and sportswriters. There will be considerable resentment, and fans will drift away. A matter of taste can sour more quickly than you think."
By Nader's standards, MLB was "overcommercialized" fifty years before he was born. It'll be "overcommercialized" fifty years after he's dead. I look forward to starting that clock.
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I hereby apologize to all the self-righteous columnists whose one-note rants about steroids have come in for so much mockery here. When it comes to self-important, factually challenged Grand Pronouncements to no real purpose other than to proclaim the speaker's moral superiority to his audience, no one compares to Ralph Nader. Yes, the man who could best serve his stated causes by blowing his brains out with a shotgun has turned his pen, and his ego, back to the world of baseball.
Ralph doesn't like ads on baseball uniforms. I don't like ads on baseball uniforms. But only one of us believes this is a moral issue comparable to replacing the leather on baseballs with human skin. Nader's letter to Bud Selig opens:
"The great lengths of selfishness with which you are willing to go to desecrate baseball and alienate fans of the game should no longer surprise us. Still, your placement of advertisements on the New York Yankees and Tampa Bay Devil Rays uniforms for Major League Baseball’s opener on March 30 in Tokyo ambushed fans across the country and left them shaking their heads at this obscene embarrassment."
The fans I know were more "ambushed" and "alienated" by the 5 AM (Eastern) starting time than by anything on the uniforms. This isn't even the first time MLB clubs have worn uniform advertising patches in Japan. Such patches are regularly worn during postseason All-Star team tours of Japan, and when the Mets and Cubs opened the 2000 season in Japan, they wore AM/PM logos on their batting helmets, an insurance company's logo on their sleeves. You surely remember all the fans who responded by swearing off MLB for life.
Nader warns that The Evil Uniform Patch, worn for two games played before most fans were even awake, is "suffocating Baseball’s fan base." That base responded by fleeing the choking atmosphere of their home TVs to attend games in record numbers. He thunders that "over-commercialization is sapping the fun out of being a fan of Major League Baseball," though being lectured by Ralph Nader about fun is like hearing Courtney Love tell you to "Just Say No."
Like Old Man River, Nader just keeps rolling along, oblivious to logic, consistency, or anything but his own moral superiority over those he addresses:
"Commissioner Selig, no one is trying to get in the way of your ability to make money, but you need to look beyond the immediate bottom line to make Major League Baseball sustainable. As primary caretaker, this means your job is to respect cities and fans, ensure the integrity of the game, and eliminate self-interested and destructive tendencies. Advertising on uniforms runs counter to each of these critical principles."
"No one is trying to stop you from making money, except me."
"Major League Baseball won't be sustainable unless you do as I say."
"Listen to me when I tell you what your job entails."
Yet St. Ralph neglects to explain just how a uniform patch threatens the integrity of the game or constitutes a "destructive tendency." He no longer understands, or even cares, that when addressing audiences beyond his own steadily dwindling congregation, they don't react to his ritual invocation of buzzwords like "selfish," "greedy," and "commercialization" the way Fred Phelps' followers respond to any mention of homosexuality.
And like all self-appointed prophets, St. Ralph closes by warning what will befall Those Who Do Not Listen To The True Word:
"If you allow such an explicit interference of baseball with another greedy vehicle for corporate marketing -- using player uniforms as product placement surfaces -- apathy is not what you should expect from fans and sportswriters. There will be considerable resentment, and fans will drift away. A matter of taste can sour more quickly than you think."
By Nader's standards, MLB was "overcommercialized" fifty years before he was born. It'll be "overcommercialized" fifty years after he's dead. I look forward to starting that clock.
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